27
Jan
Have you ever really sat down to listen and reflect on the way you talk to yourself? Many would be surprised at what our internal voices say to us.
Everyone at least from time to time hears an internal voice speak negatively about themselves. As mental health becomes less taboo and more openly talked about, we see the topic on the rise, (allowing us to connect in new ways.)
Some of the most common negative talk we engage in about ourselves involves patterns such as over-generalizing (“I didn’t stick to my diet today. I never do anything right”), assuming what someone else is thinking (“they think I should lose weight too”) and negative assumptions about the future, (“There’s no point of even starting a diet. I’ll never succeed anyway”) to name a few relatable ones.
Unfiltered journaling (writing exactly what is being said internally without any censoring or modification) helps to uncover exactly what you say to yourself surrounding different topics or triggering situations.
After a session of writing, I sit down and read it from start to finish. Especially at first, the content really surprised me. I couldn’t believe the words that came out.
Over the years, I’ve been more aware of the talk I give to myself, and over time, I have worked to change much of the voice from uncompassionate and negative, to a more positive, understanding and encouraging voice. I assumed the changes would be that I would be happier inside and out. But there were also many unexpected changes that have occurred from my new internal dialogue.
1. My weight and body responded in ways that my diet and exercise were not unlocking.
I have struggled to release the last 10-15 lbs of the weight I want to get rid of off my body for years. Most of the time the weight I wanted to see go, was sitting around my waist. Research and industry experts led me to uncover that one reason my weight dropped finally was because as my self talk became more compassionate and understanding, my stress and anxiety decreased.
When we are stressed and anxious we release hormones that can store fat in the exact areas we want to get rid of fat from – for women this tends to be the waist, back of the arms and hips. By decreasing my stress and anxiety, it likely decreased the hormones that were contributing to the excess weight.
2. My skin changed to have a more positive glow.
My skin, honestly, has never really been a problem. But as my internal self talk changed, my skin has been more naturally radiant, more free of blemishes, and feeling softer than times when I spiral into a more negative and less compassionate self talk periods.
3. My career started to really take off.
More and more opportunities have come my way since really committing to increasing my positive self talk.
4. Less stress and anxiety.
Situations that at one time would have really stressed me out are no longer creating such an intense reaction and I can approach the situation with a more level head.
5. People wanted to be around me more.
It’s difficult to admit, but when I have deep episodes of depression or anxiety and engage in a lot of negative self talk, it can be really difficult for people to want to be around me. I think this is likely true for many people. And although I do not condone faking or altering ourselves to fit into the comfort level of others, it is uplifting to others if you’re more positive, accepting, open and loving. I am more in this state when I am compassionate and kind to myself internally.
Engaging in positive self talk is a challenge if it’s new to you, but a little daily practice can lead to a happier life in many unexpected ways.
** This post shares the experiences and opinions from one of our regular contributors. This does not replace the advice from a licensed practitioner.
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